Ya'll.. It's 2018.. WHAT?!
I'm 25 (again, WHAT?!) and no end in sight of #adulting.. I recently got engaged to my best friend (getting married in May), I quit a desk job to join a start-up, and I'm currently trying to figure out a retirement plan.
Long story short, I'm pretty introspective. I want to do things the "right" way, I don't veer too often from the lines, and I hate it. So, here’s my 10 Things I Want To Change In 2018. 5 things that i need to stop, and 5 that I need to start. I hope you're like me and these are things that can help you too.
NEED TO STOP
1. I need to stop comparing myself to others.
This one needs to be a tattoo I put on myself. I couldn’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve compared myself to others, as I’m sure you have too.. I do it on the daily. As cliche as it sounds, it’s human nature, and I/we can’t help it.
If you really knew me, you know that I love to play basketball. I’ll always be very average, but I love it. But as soon as the game starts, I’m worried I’m not good enough to beat or stop the person guarding me, or make a 10 ft jump shot. It’s a simple game of basketball, that means NOTHING in the grand scheme of things, but pride takes over. "If I can just beat this guy 1v1, or drain this three point shot, then these guys will think I'm cool and like me.” This is a thought that runs through my head consistently, and it has to stop.
2. I need to stop dwelling over the past.
I need to let my past go. High school? Hated it. Would I go back and do it differently? Heck no, keep me away from that place. Unfortunately though, your reputation in high school sticks with you, and while I don't think I had a bad reputation, I'm so different than the way I was in high school, but I feel like nobody else has changed, and so I feel stuck. I love where I'm from and a majority of the people, don't get me wrong. They helped make me who I am today.
I actually like new challenges and new adventures, and those don't happen in your hometown..
3. I need to stop worrying about what other people think.
This is another one that is at the top my list, for sure. I think that one of my biggest flaws and things that makes me insecure is worrying about what other people think about me. The way I dress (or don’t), the way I act, the jokes i tell, the tweets I tweet and a thousand other things make who I want to be, and not always who I am.
That may not of made sense. Let me explain.
I look in the mirror and see a terrible side of myself. I see pictures or watch videos of myself and wonder why people even hang out with me. That's why I would rather be behind the camera (fun fact about me). I don't want to get all "Christian" here, but I'm made in God's image. So, I'm good on the looks, apparently (ha). And I am who I am. I don't need to feel bad about myself or apologize for who I am. I've also learned that people really like it when you're genuine and are consistent at it.
4. I need to stop saying yes (so much).
If you really knew me, you’d know I’d do just about anything for anybody. It comes at a cost, though. Well, a few actually. Time being the most, and I would say psychologically would be right behind it. I have this notion in my head that says “if i do all these nice things for people, then I'll be happy and get it in return." In a way, it's true, but it's also exhausting and I don't leave time for myself. So, I need to say yes to balance.
5. I need to stop holding back.
Up until college, I was scared to try new things, to do things alone, or to even just be myself. I’m not a very confident person, but I’ll do almost anything as long as my crew is around. The problem that I’ve come to realize in your early/middle 20s, is that we’re not in college anymore, our friend groups went from 40 (freshman year at C-N, you know who you are) to little groups of maybe 4 or 5 in different places. I’m not at all saying I don’t have friends, it’s just that we’re not all in the same place anymore. I don't just mean geographically, but in life. Some are married, some are in careers, etc.
2 a.m. Taco Bell runs, while an awesome bonding experience in college that I miss dearly, now just seems downright dumb. #worthit
But just because I’m not in college anymore, doesn’t mean I can’t try new things, make new friends, or travel to new places. In reality, it means I should be able to more, right? More means, more opportunity? I’m still learning, so forgive me, but I should be experiencing more now, as an adult. Food for thought.
NEED TO START
1. I need to start spending more time with Jesus.
Here we go. Jesus card. Adam’s a Christian, y’all. Okay, lets get serious.. When life gets busy, my time with Jesus is the first thing to go. I got an email the other day from a friend that said “I know that spending time with Jesus is the most important thing, but sometimes it doesn’t FEEL like the most important thing. And I agree. It’s hard. It’s hard to spend time with humans, let alone the God of the universe.. But I need to realize it’s the single most important thing I could do on this Earth, and that’s life-changing..
2. I need to start taking (better) care of myself.
I have a tendency, I would assume like most people, to rather sleep in than wake up early and run, or watch Netflix than go to sleep on time. We like to trade the comfortable and easy for the uncomfortable and difficult. It's strange, though, I love running. I love playing sports. I like making breakfast and a cup of Joe. So why can't I do that on a consistent basis? Because it takes fortitude that I currently lack. I need to work on that..
3. I need to start with the confident mentality.
I don’t think that I’m someone who is “woe is me” all the time, but I often find myself avoiding an interaction or an event just because I don’t feel like I fit in or belong or am good enough for whatever is happening. There’s a reason I’m in the position I am, and I shouldn’t feel like I haven’t been good enough to earn a listening ear or be a part of a certain event. #teamAdam
4. I need to start being more creative (put more time into it.)
Being creative is one of the few things I do, that (ironically) gets my mind off of things. Weirdly enough, looking at a Final Cut workspace (video editing software that I use for my wedding videos) that has thousand of buttons and editing capabilities and making a video to share in front of someone that may hate it is relieving to me. I like walking through a park or at a local sporting event and snapping pictures of what’s happening. I love doing that, but I don’t make enough time to make more of it. I stay pretty busy through the week, but there’s still time for it. I just need to make time for it.
5. I need to read more.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s true. I am at the beginning stages of liking to read. By liking to read, I mean reading something that I find interesting or worthwhile. You couldn’t pay me to read Shakespeare, but give me a book or an article about faith, tech or money, I’m in. But reading is good for you. I’m a visual learner, which isn’t a bad thing, but I realize that reading is the cornerstone of learning and growing, and if I can’t read, then I’m not learning.
Well, those are my 10 things. 5 things that I need to stop doing and 5 things I need to start doing. It was hard to narrow it down to the most important, but, at least personally, these are the things I know I need to work on and I feel could be beneficial for you as well.
I hope this helps you as much as it is going to help me. I'll do a follow-up in 2019.
Peace and love,